Signs That You Are A Non-Custodial Daddy
By Sean Kelly
September 30, 2003
- Your bedsit and work area are festooned with pictures of your children, but not their mother.
- You refer to her as anything but her name.
- You no longer get upset when your friends (if you have any left) switch off when you talk about your kids and your pain.
- You have bank accounts in other people's names.
- You know men who have been beaten by their wives.
- You have thought about putting Immac in her Head and shoulders.
- You have, or know someone who's, filed for bankruptcy.
- You have, or know somesone who has been in jail.
- You have an intimate understanding of stress, high blood pressure palpitations,depression and insomnia.
- You prefer to do all transactions in cash.
- You'd rather lease than buy , because: "... if you don't own it, they can't take it away from you."
- You turn the lights off in your house when police go down the street.
- You have more phone numbers of lawyers than girlfriends.
- You know lawyer jokes.
- You do favours for people you don't even like to avoid going home alone early.
- You have "Caller ID" and answering machines.
- You have telephone recording equipment.
- You earn a decent salary, but drive an old car, and can't afford a new one.
- Your car has bumper stickers like. "Daddies are for life not just for Saturday", or "Kids need Daddies-Support Joint Custody"
- You refer to "Child Support Payments" as "Retroactive Prostitution Payments".
- You have been assigned a Probation Officer, although you have committed no crime.
- You know who Warren Farrell is.
- You realise that there is no penalty for false allegation or perjury if you are a woman.
- You can't understand why you want to fall down tired at work all day, and you can't sleep at night.
- You know the shortest backroads to and from the courthouse, and you get heart burn whenever you get within half a mile of it.
- You use the words "feminazi", "septic circle", and "poison piss pedlers" often.
- Your favorite songs include "I shot the sheriff". "father and son", "Something inside so strong"
- You wonder why when women get together over 5 bottles of wine, they claim to be "consionceness elevating", but if you have a pint with your workmates you are "the cause of the problem"
- You get treated like a pariah at your kid's school.
- Smug feminists in the media make your blood boil with their "all men are violent" mantra.
- You realise it is cheaper to eat out than to cook for one.
- You realise that to get parity of esteem from the Courts that it is not enough to be an ordinary "meat and two veg" Dad - you must become SUPERDAD
- Court Clerks know you on a first name basis.
- You now know that there must be a better way to resolve family disputes, because the same faces that you first saw in the foyer of the court all those years ago are still there ....every time
- Your ex communicates with you through a third party, usually begining
with the phrase: "You are hereby Ordered ..... "
"ANY FOOL CAN BE A FATHER BUT IT TAKES A MAN TO BE A DADDY"