My husband is married to his business


From Thursday's Globe and Mail

April 9, 2009 at 9:18 AM EDT

Group Therapy is a relationship advice column that asks readers to contribute their wisdom. Each week, we offer a problem for you to weigh in on, then publish the most lively responses, with a final word on the matter delivered by our columnist, Claudia Dey.

A reader writes: When I married my husband 10 years ago, I stressed to him that I was marrying him, not his business. Since that time he has struggled to keep it going. I purposely stayed out of the business, but lent him money to help it through a rough patch. I received one payment once, way back when. I feel resentful that he has never treated me with respect on this matter, or answered my questions about what we will live on in old age. When I bring it up, he changes the subject or gets defensive. I do work, and had the foresight to draw up a prenuptial agreement. Selling the business is out of the question. But it's hard for me to watch it drain his energy and our savings. There are three of us in this marriage. Should I stay or should I go?

Stick it out

You knew he had a business before you married him, so it's only fair to ride it out. Sounds like he's determined to make it work, and if it finally does turn around, selling at retirement time would be part of your retirement plan. Running a business is not like having a job - it's a 24/7.





Commentary by the Ottawa Mens Centre


Ottawa Mens, from Home of the Corrupt Ontario Superior Court Judge Allan D. Sheffield, Canada) wrote: You sound like a trusting person with a prenup agreement, why? Running a business is more difficult than ever before and most people in business work very long hours, you are lucky to have such a determined husband.

You seem to think you are entitled to a guarantee of success, and a zero tolerance towards anything else.

Odds are you will treat your husband like an aging car, just dump it or trade it in or both.

Now if your prenup allows, you can go to court and indirectly get financial reimbursement for all that love and affection you may have given him, and get revenge on him for having the lack of success in business.

If you actually value the institution of marriage, and both have a mutual goal of a successful marriage then do what it takes to make the marriage an ongoing success.

Marriage is not easy, you can't take your partner for granted, it requires work, lots of work every single day and its a job that is never never over.

If you have that commitment, then you have a real partner in life and can look forward to a longer life expectancy, and many other benefits.

If you don't, then just get out your favorite DVD's
you know, "Thelma and Louise", "The Three Wives Club" and of course "Mrs. Doubtfire".