Divorced B.C. father kept from seeing child

Mother fails to co-operate with court order


Tuesday, June 22, 2010

By Kathy Tomlinson, CBC News

B.C. father Dieter Geesing says he has had no contact with his 10-year-old daughter in 15 months. (CBC)


A divorced B.C. father who hasn't seen his young daughter for several months blames the family court system and is joining others in a call for change.

"Before all this happened, my daughter had a great relationship with me," said Dieter Geesing. "I feel really helpless. This is not right."

Geesing said his ex-wife has been allowed to bar him from his daughter because a court order requiring her to co-operate is unenforceable.

"I love my child. It's not fair to her. You are cheating her of her childhood," he said tearfully. "This child has a right to interact with her father."

Geesing is a forestry specialist and his daughter is his only child. He and his wife separated in 2008, when the girl was eight years old. Since then, he said, his wife has tried to shut him out of his daughter's life completely.

No contact for 15 months

"When I phone, I get the message 'She doesn't want to talk to you,'" said Geesing. "On her 10th birthday, I left flowers on her doorstep — that's it."

Geesing has had no contact with his child since March 2009.

A court order in June 2009 gave the parents joint guardianship, with the child's "primary residence" at her mother's home.

Dieter Geesing says years ago, before their separation, he and his
 daughter had a good relationship.Dieter Geesing says years ago, before their separation, he and his daughter had a good relationship. (Submitted by Dieter Geesing)

The court also instructed the mother to pay for and attend counselling to help establish a "healthier" relationship between father and daughter. A letter from the counsellor to the judge shows Geesing's ex-wife has since failed to co-operate.

"For me it's quite obvious here is somebody who doesn't want this child to have any contact," said Geesing.

Records show there have been no consequences for the child's mother. Geesing has been told he has no legal recourse but to go back to court to ask the judge for help, which could take several months.

No comment from mother

Because she is the custodial parent, CBC News is not identifying the mother by name, to help protect the child's identity. When contacted, Geesing's ex-wife refused comment. Her lawyer did not respond to messages.

Geesing is one of several parents and family advocates calling on Ottawa to change the Divorce Act to give non-abusive divorcing parents automatic, equal roles in their children's lives.

"Why am I supposed to be the lesser parent?" asked Geesing. "The default [in the courts] should be equal, shared parenting. That should be the default."

When Geesing's divorce case got to trial, the child's mother wrongly accused him of inappropriate behaviour toward his daughter.

"It completely went out of control," said Geesing. "Nothing shook me as much as this accusation."

Ice cream photos called 'inappropriate'

Evidence of what Geesing's ex-wife deemed inappropriate included pictures he took of his daughter showing off her first permanent teeth and pictures of her eating an ice cream cone.

The child's mother submitted this photo, which Geesing took of his daughter's first permanent teeth, as court evidence of inappropriate behaviour on his part. The judge disagreed. (Submitted by Dieter Geesing)

B.C. Supreme Court Justice Burnyeat concluded, "Having reviewed the photographs that the plaintiff believes were inappropriate, I cannot reach that conclusion."

The mother also said it was wrong for Geesing to playfully nibble on his daughter's ear while they were watching a DVD together.

The judge didn't buy that either, concluding, "I am satisfied that the plaintiff overreacted to what might be viewed by many as an innocent sign of affection between a father and his daughter."

A detailed psychological analysis of the family found no evidence the child had been abused, but concluded instead that the mother had alienated her from her father. It also recommended that if the mother didn't change her behaviour, the child should live with her father.

"[The mother] has been using control as a coping mechanism of …perverse anxiety," wrote the psychologist. "There has clearly been a campaign of parental alienation."

"All of this court, this fighting, for nothing," said Geesing.

Access denial 'common'

"I know fathers who have been to court 50 times — in front of a judge — only to be told that they will get access but they do not," said Jerry Arthur-Wong, the executive director at Vancouver's only men's resource centre.

"It's like the court appearance had no impact on the other parent."

He said the extreme problems he sees are with the minority of protracted, acrimonious divorces, where the parents go all the way to trial to fight it out.

A 2009 study by Edward Kruk at the University of B.C.'s school of social work took a detailed look at the parental roles of 82 Vancouver-area fathers, from all walks of life, post-divorce.

Of the 82, 56 reported "lack of access" as their No. 1 problem. Thirty of the 82 fathers reported being completely disengaged from their children's lives.

Arthur-Wong also wants the Divorce Act amended to make equal, shared parenting the norm, except in cases where one parent is deemed unfit.

Conservative MP Maurice Vellacott is sponsoring a private member's bill that would make shared parenting the starting position in all cases that go to court. The bill passed first reading, but won't be debated in Ottawa for several months, if at all.

Government undecided on bill

A spokesperson for Justice Minister Rob Nicholson said he wasn't available for comment and the government has not decided whether to support the initiative.

Jerry Arthur-Wong of Vancouver's Men's Resource Centre says he knows many fathers who can't see their children, despite court orders giving them access. (CBC)

"Our government is committed to promoting positive outcomes for the entire family during separation or divorce," wrote Nicholson's press secretary, Pamela Stephens. "Since parents usually understand their children better than anyone else, our government strongly encourages parents co-operate to make parenting arrangements in their children's best interests."

Arthur-Wong said the government has delayed taking definitive action for far too long.

"Denial of access is pretty common," he said. "That is child abuse and that is not acceptable in this society."

He thinks provinces should set up registries of parents who ignore court-ordered access, similar to the maintenance enforcement agencies that penalize parents who default on child-support payments.

"Those who say that it would be impossible to keep a registry of access denial, I say let's try it with the more extreme cases," he said.

Geesing doesn't expect to get another court date until the fall.

"I don't even know what I will do the first time, if I ever see her," said Geesing. "Should I shake her hand? Give her my business card or something like this? What do I do? I feel afraid to do anything."

Even if he doesn't see his daughter until she grows up, Geesing said he hopes by seeing him tell his story publicly, she will know one day that he tried to be a good father.

"I think I owe it to her to let her know that this is wrong."



Commentary by the Ottawa Mens Centre.com


Fact - Most Canadian Children do not reside with their biological father and a significant percentage of those children do not have ANY contact with the father for no other reason than the mother chose to NOT to allow the father any contact.

Fact - Canadian Family Courts have systemic bias that is so pervasive and unjust it is effectively a war on men, its Male Gender Apartheid.

Fact - Those who screen judges prior to appointment are dominated by those who have an extreme feminist agenda.

Fact - Our Family Court Judges systematically make orders with silver bullets. He can have access providing he completes a psychological assessment in 30 days when no one is available and he can't afford it.

Fact - Family court judges use "weapons" to ensure fathers never see their kids.

Weapon #1, Orders for court costs designed to prevent any further litigation.

Weapon #2 Orders for child support WITHOUT any evidence of income to support the income the judge used to determine support. These orders are next to impossible to vary downwards. Judges refuse to retroactively lower support.

Weapon #3 Orders for less than Equal Time Parenting. Any order that is less than 50/50 is open season for the primary parent, (Male OR Female) to alienate the child/ren against the other parent.

Weapon #4, restraining orders, these are used in the initial first temporary temporary "Interim" Interim interim interim "motion to set up a status quo that is generally never changed. Across Canada, especially in Ottawa Ontario, judges make orders , LIFETIME ORDERS, (that even Homolko does not have) banning fathers from ENTIRE CITIES FOR LIFE, called Power Orders or Sheffield Orders, that can not be varied or appealed.


There is hardly a single politician willing to say anything that might offend extreme feminist doctrine. Extreme Feminists can and do destroy professionals who might say something that they object to and they control a lot of political decision making in Canada.

They totally control the NDP, Jack Layton has based his career on an Anti-Father, propaganda that promotes hatred towards men.

The Extreme Feminists are not "real women" and do not reflect the great majority of Canadian women, mothers, aunts, grandmothers who all have some son, brother, new husband whose life has been totally destroyed by their War Against Men.

Our Legislation is supposedly gender neutral but its applied with a biased touch that is designed to destroy men who simply go to court and ask a judge for an order that their kids can have a relationship with them.

Its an economic cancer, it is filling our Jails, turning them into Debtor Prisons, Prisons for DADS whose only crime was to ask a judge, Please, I just want to see my kids.

For every destroyed dad, you can thank a Dead Beat Judge, a member of the Underbelly of the Judiciary who has a pathological hatred towards men and a void of empathy for the death and destruction they cause. They post more of threat to Canadians security than any terrorist anywhere.


Canada has created a Male Sharia Law, that is designed to put men in jail and treat them as criminals for no other crime than being born a male and being a father.

Our criminal courts are swamped with fabricated false allegations, that is nothing more than She Said versus he Said that invariable has him arrested so he never sees the kids again.

Our Family courts are "driven" by those with mental health problems and personality disorders. Its run by the worst examples of humanity who end up in what is called "the Underbelly of the Judiciary" where they spend entire careers destroying fathers. Ottawa is home to some of the most corrupt examples of the Underbelly of the Judiciary and no one gives a brass razzoo.

Check out the incredible research by Peter Roscoe that shows very clearly how Ontario Judges are engaged in a War Against Men, is goal is transferring wealth to women and ensuring no woman pays support to a man or that a father ever gets to have sole custody generally, except under the conditions where he earns an extreme high income.

Justice in Canada is like the Ritz hotel, its only affordable and obtainable by the very rich.



9:58 pm

Canadian Fathers needs to take careful note of how Australian Fathers brought about a Change in Government to gain Equal Parenting Legislation.

The Canadian legal policy of Male Gender Apartheid is contrary to fundamental human rights, contrary to the notions of fundamental justice and equality.

Our judiciary very much have their hands tied by draconian legislation introduced by those who promote hatred towards men. It's this Law in Reality that makes men second class citizens, that makes assumptions of guilt, that places upon fathers, "reverse onus of proof" that he is not an abuser, that he is not a bad parent etc.

Canadian society has been feminized, the number of male elementary school teachers is falling to such a point that the men's rooms in many elementary school are used by women because there are no male teachers.

The entire gambit of professionals associated with Family Court are generally female and 50% are bitter man haters hell bent on destroying men.

Their reports, while appearing 99% objective, even quoting the mother's extreme violence and mental health problems will nearly always contain a silver bullet, a few words placed like a key in a lock that gives custody and total control to the mother.

The bias extends up down left and right. Most fathers end up changing lawyers when they discover their own lawyer has acted to help the mother, because their own lawyer could not see past their own biases.

Canadian Fathers need to apply the maximum pressure to all their local political candidates and obtain a commitment on support for Equal Parenting and reform of Family Law.

Canada is now a country where men have NO legal rights and where Children have NO legal rights to equal parenting by both parents after separation.