Any parent knows it’s tough to ban a kid from a sleepover after giving the green light.
But what if the kid is your daughter and you find out the only parent on duty is a dad – a divorced dad at that?
The dilemma came up recently in a list of “playdate problems” at Parenting.com. Tina Paone, a doctorate-holding therapist, mother of three and founder of the Counseling Center at Heritage, in Montgomeryville, Pa., offered this advice: “Call and say ‘I’m sorry, and this is about me and not you, but I just don’t feel comfortable with a man supervising an overnighter.’”
The “it’s-not-you-it’s-me” approach may be face saving – but it fails to disguise blatant prejudice against dads, bloggers say.
Babble.com dubbed it a case of “Dad Discrimination,” while Matt Schneider at NYC Dads Group called it “dadophobia.”
The “expert advice” reinforces stereotypes about dads being molesters at worst and incompetent at best, Mr. Schneider writes. He acknowledges parents’ concerns “in a world surrounded with stories of rapists and pedophiles.” But he argues that Dr. Paone’s advice harkens back to the not-so-distant time when parents were encouraged to avoid the homes of Jewish, black or gay families if they didn’t feel “comfortable.”
“Dadophobia” hit a nerve with readers when Lisa Belkin covered the issue at Huffington Post.
“Women have a bigotry of a man raising children. They see every man as a Homer Simpson,” writes Dana1983, a self-described single father of two kids.
Another reader, Donns, cuts to the chase: “Has America sunk to the low where all men are suspects?”
But Karen BruceHolmes comments that she was able to avoid the problem by getting to know her son’s friends and their parents “before allowing my son to spend time without me at a friend's home (whether overnighter or not).”
At last, a breath of common sense.
Feb 1, 2012
Commentary by the Ottawa Mens Centre
Our society promotes hatred and distrust towards fathers in almost all
aspects of life.
From birth, children have NO right to have their parents DNA confirming that the mother and father, (if he is mentioned) are actually his or her biological DNA confirmed parents.
Now, 25% of all births there is either NO father mentioned or the father named is not the father.
At school, More children grow up without their biological father than those with either no male parent or a step father.
Our society is riddled with extremely bitter angry women who are determined to spend the rest of their lives in the destruction of men and either either eliminating them as parents or teachers, or for that matter anyone involved in the lives of young children.
Our courts are riddled with extreme feminist judges who apply "Male Sharia Law" , our Police pander to the 911 calls of women who use the 911 police service as as "an instant divorce" and instant criminal charges generally without any evidence what soever. Often the allegations that result in charges can be 4- 8 years ago prior to the marriage and the birth of the children.
Then there is the Ontario Gestapo, called FRO and their legislative mandate that operates Concentration Camps called Ontario Jails not to get support to incarcerate loving fathers under the guise of failing to pay support often ordered for the sole purpose of incarcerating a loving devoted father.
There can be change, it will first require a legal presumption of equal parenting after separation and a real end to "Male Sharia Law" that promotes domestic violence against FATHERS.
What we have is a War On Men, and its getting worse not better.
The big bucks are paid to Judges who while they may have been objective talented lawyers, a few years on the bench brings about "judge-itis" extreme disregard for the basic principles of justice while having a politically correct knee jerk reaction to any case involving a man and a woman or their most hated, the self represented litigant who dared to cross the legal cartel by not being able to pay for a lawyer.
Justice in Ontario Family Court now like the Ritz Hotel, something only the rich can afford.
Judges generally make it known that they will refuse to listen, refuse to read the pleadings of self represented litigants, especially male litigants and its getting worse.
Combine that incredible abuse of power and injustice with societies War on Men, women correctly perceive that they can abuse, scream in fathers and children's ears to get what they want.
Women are trained from birth to believe and practice that men are incapable of being parents, and should not be anything other than a visitor and a support payor for a child.
Mother's are taught to believe and assume that because they "gave birth" that they somehow are automatically "the owner" of the child, and that dad was just the donor of that item that fertilized the egg. That word, believe or not is banned by the Globe, you are not even allowed to mention the word S.P.E.R.M.
Dads are portrayed as lazy, uninvolved, unable to bond, unable to demonstrate love and affection. Wost of all, there is a false assumption that children cannot have a closer relationship with a father than a mother.
Women who don't have mental health problems and or personality disorders believe in true equality and value fathers.
The problem is, we are now dealing with multiple generations of fatherless women and judges who were raised by their mothers and who are all part of the conscious and subconscious war on men.
It can change. We need Legal Rights for children and for Fathers who don't really have any. That can start with a Legal Presumption of Equal Parenting and to get rid of that vile underbelly of the judiciary that make the judiciary one of the most hated professions in Canada.
Mr. Harper has finally got around to realizing that Canada has an Economic
BUT, rather than address the cause, he wants to address the effects, its about as sane as
a Fire Truck bringing a Fan to blow the smoke away and to erect screens so no one can see the fire.
The Fuel for this Fire, is Canada's failure to promote marriage between men and women, to fail to provide a Legal Presumption of Equal Parenting, to fail to give children the legal right to know that their birth certificate information on their biological father and mother is Confirmed by DNA.
Its the Government's failure to end the War on Men, to end the Male Gender Apartheid, to END the DEBTORS PRISONS, that he now wishes to fill with more men, and deprive children of fathers.
Its the government's failure to end the Judiciary's war on self represented litigants, to end the Nazi type organizations like the Family Responsibility Office.
Its the governments' failure to have child support based equitably on the cost of being parents rather than the 60/40 and the governments failure to factor in the incomes of BOTH parents.
What Mr. Harper really fails to grasp is the Canada has a NEGATIVE POPULATION GROWTH and that can only be turned around by a Fundamental Overhaul of Family Law.
Other jurisdictions like Australia base support on income on a tax return. Not in Corrupt Canada, once an order is made its almost impossible to vary and a sick system puts innocent fathers in jail for no other crime than having been born with testicles and being a father.
Remember, for every dead beat dad there is a dead beat judge and while we have a prime minister who takes a dead beat approach to solving problems its only going to get worse.
Mr. Harper, its time for you to think about the best interests of Future Canadians, that means addressing the legal needs of Canadian children to have a father which will change the birth rate and leave the retirement age alone.